The Meaning Of Open Line In Dating Site

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Tired of not getting responses to the messages you send on online dating sites and apps?

Whether it’s Match.com, OkCupid, POF, Tinder, or Hinge, sending that first message to a girl you really like and getting no response is one of the worst things about online dating.

Especially when it happens over and over.

That’s a big reason why many online daters give up entirely within just a few months.

But don’t throw in the towel just yet – we’ve got 11 online dating first message examples that work like magic to get responses, and you can use them today!

1. What do all those online dating terms really mean? If you’ve been out of the dating space for a while, modern dating terms can be mystifying. Don't worry – from benching and boosts to submarining and more, this guide has all the online dating terms, lingo, and slang you need to know for dating in 2021!
2. Dating message tips: you might not think you need them, but then you filled out your online dating profile. You took the perfect profile pictures. You searched for potential matches and even found some that caught your eye.

Not only will you get proven-to-work examples you can use right now, you’ll also get the online dating message tips you need to come up with your own unique conversation starters – and the best times to send them.

Just follow the expert advice in this short article and watch your inbox fill up with women who are excited to meet you in person!

First Message Strategy #1: Go For Laughs

Funny online dating messages get responses because women naturally find guys with a sense of humor attractive. It’s true – scientists have proven it.

But the key to having a successful first message, of course, is actually being funny.

On Tinder, you can pair an attention-grabbing GIF with a humorous message…

Message Example #1:

On a dating site like Match.com or POF, you could make a joke about the shared experience of scrolling through profile after profile…

Message Example #2:

Finding common ground is a pro move, because if you can make her think the two of you are similar she’s more likely to respond.

Women are simply more comfortable around people who remind them of themselves.

Which brings us to our next examples of opening lines…

First Message Strategy #2: Connect On Common Ground

Travel makes an awesome subject for a first message because it’s something most women enjoy doing, or at least enjoy dreaming about.

Message Example #3:

And who doesn’t like to at least think they have a great sense of adventure? It's a topic you'll find mentioned in just about every person's profile.

Many online dating sites have keyword searches, so you can filter for women who also enjoy a certain hobby.

So if you’re into skiing, you can send a “stock” message about a certain topic to any interesting women who mention it in their profiles.

Message Example #4:

On a dating app like Tinder or Bumble, you can take a quick glance at her photos and bio to see if any common interests jump out.

For instance if you find you both love dogs, this would be a good first message for online dating…

Message Example #5:

You’ll save a ton of time once you have a “go-to” copy and paste message for any hobby that you’d like to share with your matches. (Skeptical about the effectiveness of copy & paste? Read this article.)

First Message Strategy #3: Inspire A Craving

Message Example #6:

(Note: A long message like this example is a better fit for dating sites like Match, OkCupid or POF. You’re going to want to keep your messages quite a bit shorter on apps like Tinder and Bumble.)

Certain words are attention-grabbing because they sound delicious. Chocolate, cheesecake, ala mode… who wouldn’t want to keep reading?

Notice how it starts off with a light compliment.

Complimenting her will often give you points, but only if you focus on intangible qualities like intelligence or her accomplishments.

Don’t make the rookie mistake of praising her physical appearance, especially when you're trying to start a conversation with a girl online for the first time.

Tons of guys do it, and she gets tons of messages with some variation of “you’re hot”. Paying her a more meaningful compliment is a breath of fresh air for her.

Mentioning something yummy-sounding works just as well on dating apps. In fact, dating app Hinge discovered girls are 40% more likely to reply to messages about food.

Here’s a short, delicious sounding message that’s perfect for a dating app…

Message Example #7:

First Message Strategy #4: Get Personal

Message Example #8:

It’s basic human nature to love talking about yourself.

In fact, it literally stimulates your brain and makes you feel good.

Ask her an open-ended question that gets her to share something about herself, and she’s instantly in her Happy Place. And the better she feels about talking to you, the more likely she is to share her number.

The example above is more suited for an online dating site where longer messages are the norm, but you can get her talking about herself on a dating app with a short message like this…

Message Example #9:

First Message Strategy #5: Show Off Your Creative Side

Message Example #10:

Most of your competition is sending her lame first messages like “Hey, how was your weekend?” and “Hi, I’m John.”

Dating Site Introduction Lines

That’s great news for you, because it gives you the opportunity to shine by asking her an interesting, funny or creative question like this…

Message Example #11:

So What Do All These First Messages Have In Common?

They all accomplish 3 things:

1. They instantly pique her curiosity. If she doesn’t even want to keep reading, why would she bother responding, much less want to meet you in person?
2. They set you apart from the crowd. Remember, if she’s getting tons of messages from guys just like you. You’ve got to out-message them every time.
3. They ask her a question. You need to make it as easy as possible for her to respond, and controlling the conversation is a simple way to do it.

Those three elements are crucial if you want to get a response to your online dating opener.

Miss one of them, and she’s moving on to the next person.

The Best Time To Send Your First Message

To increase your odds of getting a response to your message, send them at a time it’s likely to be convenient for her to answer.

Weekday evenings are generally the best time to send an online dating icebreaker. Many women unwind from a long day at work by firing up a dating app while catching up on Netflix.

According to Nielsen, activity on both OkCupid and Tinder peaks at 9 pm, and usage starts to rapidly decline after 10 pm. On Bumble, the real action starts a little earlier, with activity peaking at 6 pm.

And if you happen to find yourself stuck inside due to inclement weather like a blizzard, hurricane or rainstorm, put these first message examples to good use.

NBC News did a little investigating, and found that bad weather goes hand in hand with increased activity on dating sites and apps.

In many cases, the increase was pretty dramatic. During winter storm Juno, activity on Hinge picked up by a whopping 47%, which led to a 56% spike in the number of phone numbers exchanged, and an incredible 96% increase in 2-way message exchanges.

On OkCupid, a little rain translates to a 10% increase in activity on the site. On Match, activity typically increases around 33% during snowstorms, and big storms go hand in hand with a 20-40% increase in Bumble activity.

Throw a pandemic into the mix, and there's never been a better time to download a dating app & start trying to meet someone special online.

No Response To Your First Message? Here’s What To Do Next!

Of course, there’s no copy and paste message that’s guaranteed to start a conversation every time you send it.

There are a ton of variables involved, like your photos and your online dating profile. If those aren’t top notch, our Ultimate Guide To Online Dating has all the tools and tips you need to bring them up to snuff.

Other variables you can’t control, like what she’s doing when she’s reading your message.

If she’s sneaking a peek at her Match messages in between meetings, she may not have a chance to respond and forget to come back to it later.

So if f you don’t get a response, give her a second chance.

Try a light-hearted follow up message like this one…

Second Message Example:

But if she still doesn’t bite, move on.

The more messages you send, the more desperate you look. Besides, there’s plenty more interesting, attractive women out there so focus your efforts on them.

Why Savvy Guys Use Copy & Paste Messages

Now let’s talk about the elephant in the room: copy & paste messages.

A few online dating “experts” will tell you they don’t work. Online daters are too smart to fall for them. They’re a huge turn off.

Blah blah blah. Those guys clearly haven’t done their homework.

Here’s the truth in a nutshell.

Statistically speaking, you’re looking at an uphill battle.

The average guy has to crank out 114 messages in order to be 99% sure of getting one reply – and spend around 6.7 hours a week doing it.

Given that fact, why would you spend tons of time scanning each and every woman’s profile, then writing a message customized just for her?

That's crazy – you don't have that kind of time, especially when it's a numbers game. There’s a much better way to beat those odds, and boost your response rate at the same time.

Here at VIDA, we’ve been using the copy and paste approach since 2009.

Not only do copy and paste messages work, but we get incredible results for our clients with them. Our in-house data doesn’t lie.

Other industry experts recognize the wisdom of the copy and paste method as well.

OkCupid’s Christian Rudder said using template messages not only saves you time in the short term, but they’re a more effective long-term strategy as well.

And even if a woman calls you out on sending a template message, so what?

You’ve gotten a response that you can turn into a conversation. And many intelligent daters recognize the wisdom of using them, like this woman who weighed in on a Quora forum discussion:

When your first message is interesting and creative, the odds are good she’s going to reply to it.

Why? Because when you ask her a question that’s fun to think about and respond to, you’ve sparked an emotional connection.

That’s the reason you’re not getting good results (if any) with first messages like “Hey” and “Hi there”.

Where’s the fun in writing a response to that?

And even worse, you’ve put the burden of continuing the conversation on her, so coming up with a response is work for her.

The hotter she is, the more burdened with messages she gets, so she’ll only respond to the best messages in her inbox.

Nothing kills your online dating game quicker than being dull, assuming she's on a dating app just to hook up, or sounding just like every other guy who's messaged her that day.

Meet More High-Quality Women – Fast!

We’ve shared 11 first message examples that work brilliantly, but that’s only the beginning. You’ll be getting a ton of responses, which means you’ve got to keep the online dating conversation going and ask her out.

You have to keep her attention every step of the way, and build attraction with every message. Yup – there’s a reason so many guys complain that modern dating is exhausting.

You can skip all that stress, and go straight to the dates.

With VIDA, it’s really that easy. Our online dating experts handle your profile, your photo, and all that tedious back-and-forth messaging. All you do is show up for the dates! Click here to find out more.

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January is a boom month for the online dating industry as millions turn to the internet to find love. But composing a profile that makes you sound fascinating and unique is harder than it sounds.

Post-Christmas to the Wednesday after Valentine's Day is the peak season for dating websites, according to Plenty of Fish's Sarah Gooding.

In the process, millions of people will try to summarise their characters in just a few paragraphs. But anyone who browses a few profiles will quickly become very familiar with a handful of phrases.

Best Lines For Online Dating

This betrays its author's discomfort about using an internet dating site, says William Doherty, professor of family social science at the University of Minnesota.

For him, it shows that there is still a stigma to online dating.

'When people are in a setting where they feel there's some stigma, they like to talk as if they are unfamiliar with it,' he says.

I love laughing

Dating coach Laurie Davis loves laughing at this generic assertion. She is paid to rewrite people's dating profiles and this is one of the phrases she sees - and urges her clients to ditch - time and time again.

'Doesn't everyone love laughing?' she says. 'They are trying to show that they are fun and that they have a light-hearted side, but it means nothing.'

Other meaningless phrases, she says, include: 'I'm a glass half-full kind of person.' Then there's: 'I try to see the best in every situation.' But it's highly unlikely that someone looking to attract a mate would ever say: 'I try to see the worst in every situation.'

Davis says the problem with phrases like these is that they don't help with the main purpose of the profile - they're not 'prompts' that act as conversation-starters.

'You can't start a conversation by saying, 'I see you love laughing. I love laughing too.' If you love comedy shows, though, that's a conversation-starter,' she says.

I like going out and staying in

'In other words, you like existing,' jokes serial online dater Willard Foxton.

The anonymous 'single mother on the edge', who writes Gappy Tales, writes in her blog that she would 'take a vow of celibacy' if she saw this phrase one more time. 'Why do perfectly intelligent people write that?' she asks.

Covering too many bases is a particular bugbear of Ben England. The 28-year-old marketing director was only on Guardian Soulmates for one month before he found his girlfriend. But he had enough time to be irked by descriptions in profiles that were consciously trying to please everyone.

In his blog, Everyday Heartbreak, he takes particular displeasure at someone who lists liking going to public lectures at the London School of Economics - along with stripy tops.

Looking for my partner in crime

Some people may even go as far as to specify they are after a Bonnie to their Clyde - or vice versa.

This is an attempt to be light-hearted, says Doherty. 'It's not heavy, it's saying 'I'm a normal person, I'm interesting, I'm low-key - I don't have all these deep needs that are going to bother you.' It's a way of saying, 'Hey, I'm a jolly fellow' but there aren't a lot of ways of saying that.'

It keeps popping up because most people have a limited vocabulary for expressing what they want romantically, he adds.

I'm here for some good banter

'They are saying, 'I don't need anything deep,' says Doherty. 'I'm having fun - so to say 'I'm not desperate, I'm low-key, I'm safe.'

'It's all a way to say I'm not going to be a burden to you, to push too hard to get serious too fast.'

Lists of descriptors such as smart, attractive, romantic, thoughtful, trustworthy, sexy, passionate, fearless, honest or friendly are labelled 'empty adjectives' by dating coach Erika Ettin.

She says on the advice blog for the dating site Plenty of Fish that the problem is that these words 'can't be proven until someone gets to know you'.

'This is where the concept of 'show, don't tell' really comes into play. For example, rather than saying that you're funny, say something that you find funny.'

'A list of adjectives doesn't mean very much,' says Davis. People may say they're funny, but how? Is that humour going to resonate with a potential partner? People say they're kind but unless they demonstrate that, it's meaningless. 'It's better to show it in actions,' Davis explains.

Davis also takes issue with starting sentences with 'My friends say...'

'That doesn't speak very confidently of you,' she says. 'It seems like you're not comfortable about yourself.'

I like walks in the park, watching movies and going to the pub on Sunday for roast dinner

Along with its cousin - 'I like Sunday brunch in the pub with the papers and trawling round bric-a-brac markets' - this is a potentially bland description of weekend leisure time.

Doherty thinks this kind of stuff is appropriated from romantic comedies, novels and reading other people's profiles. 'It's all saying, 'I'm a regular person.'

My friends (and family) are really important to me

England highlights this as one of his top meaningless phrases. 'It tells you absolutely nothing about someone. Find me someone that doesn't think their friends are important to them,' he says.

His point is that far too many people put their likes as things that it's very rare to dislike. 'One put that she likes sunshine. Really?'

My life is fab. I just need someone to share it with

Usually accompanied by a fulsome description of a high-powered, achievement-filled and cosmopolitan life.

Doherty says this is signalling that 'I'm not desperate, I'm not needy, I'm not lonely. I'm a very happy, full person. My already rich life would be enhanced'.

He says people who say phrases like this are trying to say 'being on here does not mean that I have deficits as a person'. The reason people feel the need to state how good their life is is because they still feel uncomfortable being involved in online dating, Doherty suggests.

I'm easy-going

Variations on this are 'I'm laid back' and 'I'm down to earth.' In his list of 10 things he hates about Plenty of Fish profiles, Greg Hendricks writes that these are so common that he ignores profiles that include them.

'What are any of these even supposed to mean? These stock traits are in so many profiles, I practically skip right over them.'

Plus, who would ever describe themselves otherwise, says Foxton. 'No-one thinks, 'I'm really uptight.'

A variant on this is 'I like cosying up in front of the fire'. It's a phrase that irks Match.com's chief scientist Helen Fisher. She says people should avoid it.

'These are things that we see in the movies. It seems to be linked with intimacy and they don't have the imagination to come up with what is meaningful to them. It's boring and shows no creativity.'

The key lies always in being specific, according to Gooding.

'One thing I see a lot of in profile descriptions are really generic descriptions. So a typical description would be 'I'm a fun active girl who likes to hang out with her friends and watch movies'. So you've pretty much described everyone on the website.'

Genuine guy seeking genuine girl/guy

'Western culture values authenticity,' says Doherty. But trying to demonstrate one's sincerity very often appears contrived.

'It's saying 'I'm in this fake setting, but I'm telling you I'm genuine even though I'm doing this thing that feels weird.' But he warns against 'over-asserting'. Normal people don't feel the need to prove themselves.

'No-one is saying, 'I'm running out of people to date, I just want to find someone to marry, have children with and grow old with - that is my deep need,' says Doherty.

I enjoy long walks on the beach at sunset

As an anthropologist, Fisher says she understands that people are trying to express their love of nature, downtime and intimacy.

But it doesn't help them stand out from the crowd. 'The bottom line is, who wouldn't want both of those scenarios?'

Dating coach Julie Spira concurs. She suggests on dating website Your Tango that it makes people look unoriginal. 'Putting it on your profile just makes it look like you've copied and read every other profile on the internet.'

England isn't a fan of profiles where all the photos show the dater in an impoverished country doing something mildly dangerous. According to him, 'we've seen it all before'.

Greg Hendricks echoes this complaint. 'People who put this in their profile are trying to sound adventurous and diverse, but in actuality they sound just like every other profile.'

The Muddy Matches blog suggests people bring this up time and again because talking about travel is also a good way to establish common interests, but it warns 'don't jabber on about your trip for ages without drawing breath. Try to find out where you've both been and where you'd both love to go'.

Attitude towards height is one of the most curious aspects about straight dating sites. Women looking for men often demand someone over 6ft and men often lie about how tall they are.

Foxton says that when he was on his mission to date 28 women, what seemed to surprise them most was that he was exactly the height he had said he was. Dating website OK Cupid notes that this is the most lied about aspect on online dating. On average, it suggests, people are two inches shorter than they say they are.

Fisher says men lie about two things - their height and their salary. Women lie about their weight and their age to emphasise their child-bearing potential.

Don't get in contact if you don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'

Grammar fanatics are over-represented on some online dating sites. But it's not always advisable to advertise just how important apostrophe usage is to you.

'Your profile isn't a place to vent. It's somewhere you're trying to find someone fabulous,' says Davis.

But the problem is deeper than that for her. 'People are trying to attract someone who is educated, someone who has a distaste for bad grammar, but there are many people who are not educated who know the difference between your and you're.'

I'm a 42-year-old man looking for a 27-year-old woman

Christian Rudder argues on the OK Cupid blog that while the ratio of men to women on straight dating sites stays stable as people get older, the male fixation on youth distorts the dating pool.

He says data from the website suggests that as men get older, the age gap they might countenance beneath them widens.

So a 31-year-old man might look for someone between 22 to 35 - up to nine years younger than him. A 42-year-old might look for a woman up to 15 years younger than him, Rudder suggests.

But the men's stated age range doesn't tell the full story. When Rudder looked at men's messaging habits, he found they were pursuing women even younger than their stated age range.

'I'm not going to stalk you,' is the subtext behind a range of commonly seen phrases, suggests Doherty.

'It's the ultimate stranger dating so it's not surprising that there is this emphasis on safety and normality.'

It's not a phrase to take at face value, he says. It's a good idea to be suspicious of anyone who has to assert that they are normal.

Open Line Pennsburg

I don't watch television

An increasingly common statement on some dating sites. It's often a prelude to a list of varied and often esoteric interests from someone who is 'achingly hip, unflinchingly bright and invariably bearded', as Guardian Soulmates daters are described on Bella Battle's blog.

Funny Opening Lines Dating

'With any other dating site, I can peddle out a profile with the usual likes and dislikes and some junk about country pubs and DVDs,' she writes.

Great Opening Lines On Match

It's not enough to be average. 'You have to have hobbies too - hobbies so boldly idiosyncratic they make you unlike any other person on the planet. The first guy I went on a date with from Soulmates was into astronomy and 17th century harpsichord music.'

'It's not accepting the truth. Why are you lying about something? It doesn't matter whether you met them in Waitrose in a club or on the internet. What matters is that you have met each other.'

Again, for Doherty, it indicates that people are still uncomfortable about looking for love on the internet. This is changing, Davis notes in the Huffington Post. She cites Pew research to mark 'the official demise of the online dating stigma'. Some 59% of internet users agree that 'online dating is a good way to meet people' and 42% of Americans know an online dater.

Plenty of Fish also gives a sense of the scale of online dating. It says its own data from Comscore from 2012 in the US shows they have 55 million members, 24 million messages sent per day, 50,000 new signups per day, and 10 billion page views every month.

Find out which online dating cliches our readers find most irritating

The Meaning Of Open Line In Dating Site In English

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